One of the greatest challenges a mother, mentor, grandmother, or any “older woman” leading a “younger woman” encounters is when the sweet, young, thing you are sitting across from is simply “plowed.”

No, not plowed, as in drunk or hung-over,  but plowed, as in LIFE-HAS-DUG-UP-ALL-SHE-HAS-KINDOF-PLOWED.  Plowed Field

We’ve all been there at some time in our lives. It may have come in the form of a broken relationship, a lost job, financial loss, bitterly spoken words from someone we trusted, or watching someone we love take the wrong path. Whatever happened, it hurt, cut into the dirt of our souls terribly deeply and unearthed any semblance of life and growth and anything green that once was there.

And now we sit across the table from a younger version of ourselves that is suffering from the sharp tiller-blades of life.

What do I say?

How on earth can I possibly fix her or her problem?

I don’t even see a glimmer of hope for her. 

Where do I begin?


Remember the sharp edge of the life-plow that ripped through your own heart.

Remember the smell of your soul’s dirt as it was flung aside and all of the growth and life that once was disappears in a moment.

Remember the look of the overturned dirt, brown and ugly and lifeless in appearance.

Then reach for her hand and touch her heart with your remembrance and empathy.  You know her pain, you recall her hopelessness, you feel her deep hurt.

But you know there’s hope and life and that one day, she too, like you will sprout green shoots again.  The barren land will flourish with life and color and vitality.   You know too that it won’t happen overnight, nor by next week, or next month.

But you will be there watching with her and waiting for that first green sprig of life that you both can celebrate and water.

If you didn’t have someone to sit with you, empathize, hug, wait and watch, hope and heal with you, then, as the mentor, you resonate with the deep importance of SOMEONE.  Be her SOMEONE.

Remind her that…. hurts heal, wounds scab, hearts mend, and true friends won’t leave you waiting alone. Be the one who tells her that one day the green shoot…..   New Growth

will become an unrecognizeable field of beauty. WAIT FOR IT!  It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen. And you will wait with her until she sees a field of beauty instead of barrenness.

Field of Sunflowers

Mentor, be ready and willing to simply sit and listen.  Don’t be afraid to love someone who has been freshly plowed.  You once were yourself.

She needs what you needed then.  A hug, a cup of coffee, a lot of chocolate, and a smile.

“Stoop down and reach out to those who are oppressed. Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law.” (Galatians 6:2, MSG)

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